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Not invited to birthday party

Not invited to birthday party           reply
19/11/2006 22:25 - Miscellaneous
My 13 yr old daughter (1st yr in secondary) has not been invited to what she thought was a close friend´s birthday outing - about six of them are going to the cinema. My daughter is very upset and doesn´t know why she has been excluded. I regularly bump into the birthday girls mum and know her well enough to stop to chat. Should I ask her about it or stay out of it. I doubt my daughter would thank me for interfering but at the same time I hate to see her so sad. What should I do.

re... : Not invited to birthday party           reply
16/12/2006 18:38 - Miscellaneous
Thanks for your opinions girls. As it turns out we did something along the lines Frances suggested, ie. on the day of the birthday she and I went out for a little shopping therapy together and had a good time. She has got over the birthday issue quite quick and I was glad I didn´t bring it up with the other parent as it might have stretched the issue out longer. Mind you I´ll be careful when her own birthday comes round to try and ensure she doesn´t leave anyone out as I´d hate to think of someone else´s kid suffering the same way.

re : Not invited to birthday party           reply
20/11/2006 21:53 - Miscellaneous
Hard and all as it is, i would be inclined to stay out of it Helen. You´re right she wouldn´t thank you. She needs to be able to tell you about how she is feeling without being worried you will charge out and try to sort it out. It´s hard to see one of your children hurting but unfortunately most of our kids will have to face and deal with difficult and hurtful situations. Perhaps when the date of the party has passed you might encourage her to talk to her friend to find out why she did´nt invite her althought I imagine she might view her more as an ex-friend by then!

re : Not invited to birthday party           reply
16/12/2006 14:16 - Miscellaneous

This is so common and we girls can be easily offended. I am sure there is logic behind it, it is probably down to practicalities of expense and what the parents will reasonably foot the bill for and have in the house/car to disrupt them.
It is understandable that your daughter feels this way my girl is often the same. I remember I was too and stupuidly still am sometimes! Look leave it alone, explain to your daughter that hard choices often have to be made and not to be offended but it may be that when she has her own celebration that she too will be faced with hard decisions - remember your wedding plans and all the stress that invlolves with guests costs etc, well birthday parties are the practice runs for all this!! Someone will always feel left out and that is life.

Maybe you and your daughter can have a special day together as compensation,

Good luck,


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